Is The Grass Always Greener? It Depends On What Side You Really Want To Be On…

This will be my first entry here on the blog. I guess I should introduce myself. My name is Renee, and so far all of the entries you have been reading have been written by my husband. This blog was his idea, where he wanted to help people by answering questions they may have about the Navy lifestyle in the perspective of husband and wife, military and civilian, etc…

I titled this entry “Is The Grass Always Greener” because not only am I a civilian married to an Active Duty Sailor, but I was once myself a Sailor. I guess you can say that I have an understanding of both sides of the proverbial “fence”. I viewed military relationships quite differently when I was enlisted. Now that I’m out, I’m seeing things in a whole different light. I personally consider it a double edged sword. I get frustrated from the wife standpoint, but then I realize I can’t be too upset because I can honestly say that I know where my husband is coming from since I’ve been there/done that”.

When I was enlisted, I always said “I can’t wait until I’m a civilian again”. I’m pretty sure most Sailors have uttered those words at one point in time. There were many days where I questioned my enlistment and I even had a countdown of when my contract would be finished. But in this present economy, is the grass really greener? While I was in, I was getting a steady paycheck and health care benefits all while serving this country. Now that I’m on the outside, the job opportunities are very difficult to find. It’s not impossible to find a job, but the competition out here in the civilian realm is ridiculous because everyone is competing for anything and everything just to make ends meet.

To be honest, I don’t mind being a civilian again. Things may not be as easy as they once were since we’re no longer bringing in two paychecks to the relationship with me being a stay at home mom, but I wouldn’t trade it for anything. I say enjoy your life and the time spent with your spouse or significant other. If you are enlisted yourself, make sure that you make the most of the time you’re allotted with your family. If you’re a civilian, like me, make sure that you let your spouse or significant other know how much you love and appreciate them every chance you get.

INSURVace to All

The purpose of INSURV is to be a material inspection of the seaworthiness of a United States Naval Vessel. Inspectors are to come aboard for a brief amount of time to test the physical abilities of combat, engineering, communications and material conditions of the ship. This inspection is to give an overall grade to determine if the ship is capable of carrying out its mission and sail the open seas. Sounds like a reasonable idea on paper, but in reality, it’s a nightmare and a joke.
As a technician there are standard procedures that we go through when it comes to maintaining and fixing equipment onboard the ship. We have what is known as PMS (Planned Maintenance System) that gives us a series of checks for us to carry out to ensure the functionality of our gear. The periodicity of these checks determines how often we do them. If problems are discovered, we figure out what we need and order the parts through our supply system. This is where the problem starts a majority of the time. The problem isn’t started by our supply people, but by insufficient funding that leads to backorders and extreme wait times for the parts that keep us up and running. This is deemed unacceptable by inspectors, but the solutions to the problems are normally out of our hands and are reliant upon estimated shipping dates. Our equipment tends to break at the most inconvenient of times, but it’s to be expected when the gear is in constant use. When you ask yourself how we’re floundering in getting the sufficient funds that we need, the answer can be seen on paper. Best example that I can give is the cost of a bottle of Simple Green. Navy pays $25.00 a bottle through a government contract, whereas the typical civilian can go to Wal-Mart and purchase a bottle for $3.00 if it’s not on sale. I don’t know who thought that $25.00 a bottle was the deal of a lifetime, but they obviously don’t pay for their own meals.
To make up for the lack of sufficient funding, we have assessors come onboard to look at the general condition of the equipment. They poke, prod and look at just about everything to determine what’s in dire need of fixing. The orders that they put in are covered by another source of funding, and who knows where that source of money is coming from.
Currently, we’ve been playing the INSURV game for over a year now, and it’s been wearing me down to the point where my morale feels like it’s holding up the floorboards. Recently I’ve been finding myself dreading to go to work in the morning. The sound of the alarm letting me know that it’s time to get up fills me with disgust. It’s not because I’m having second thoughts about being in the Navy. It’s because of INSURV. We’re constantly reminded of the consequences for failing INSURV, and our upcoming leave periods are consistently at risk of being taken away should we fail. There is no such thing as weekends any more, and you’re lucky if you get to have Sunday off. I believe I’m experiencing what is known as “burnout,” and cannot wait until this nightmare is over with. INSURV, looks great on paper as a report, but runs everyone into the ground. God help us all.

Stressed Out? Express Yourself!

Sometimes life in the Navy can be stressful, and unfortunately your loved ones at home can experience the brunt of it accidentally. I’ve been guilty of this a couple of times and I never intentionally mean to do it. I don’t yell and scream, but my loved ones can tell if I’m in a bad mood through my use of sarcasm, or lack of motivation to help out. I have to admit that growing up as a kid I would bottle my emotions up and never express them to anyone, and over time I feel that it’s best for me to learn how to let go.
When I talk about letting go and expressing my emotions, that doesn’t mean to become animated with your co-workers, or to fall into the mindset of where “I just don’t care.” What I’m referring to is that we need to separate work-related drama from our lives at home. Your home should be considered the safe haven, the place you go to wind down and relax. If you’re having a bad day, the best listeners tend to be the loved ones in your life. I’m thankful for my wife, because she’s there to listen to my gripes and complaints, no matter how ridiculous they can be, and it doesn’t stop there. I have my parents, who have been there through thick and thin, and always can find a way to cheer me up. My son, who I love dearly, is probably the best listener of all. This is due to the fact that he doesn’t understand a word that I’m saying and pretty much has to listen because he can’t crawl, or walk away just yet. Last, but definitely not least, is our dog. He’ll listen as long as you give him a pet or the occasional scratch behind the ears.
So if I’m having a rough day on the job and we’re out to sea, who am I supposed to turn to if I need to vent for a minute? On our ship we have a few points of contact that can help. First and foremost, I have an outstanding mentor. He can be vulgar, and if you’re out of line he’ll be the first to let you know, but if I need someone to talk to, he’s there. Your mentor’s sole purpose is to be your guide to success. An understanding of what the role of the mentor and the mentored are agreed upon and a working partnership is formed. Since I’m on a destroyer, otherwise known as a “small-boy,” we typically do not have a Chaplain stationed onboard. Our last deployment we had one, and she was a breath of fresh air. Not only could she engage in a conversation and act as an active listener, she would go out of her way to boost morale and hand out pieces of candy. To some this may sound childish, but I appreciated it.
The point of this article is that there are people out there who will listen to what you have to say. No matter how big or small the problem is, it’s best to get those emotions and feelings out so you don’t hurt yourself or your loved ones in the long run. Try your best to separate the stress you encounter at work from your home life, and if you feel that it’s starting to get to the boiling point, get some help before it’s too late. I would recommend reading about stress management, and educate yourself on how to cope with it. I can’t stress this enough… no pun intended.

Tiger Cruise: Friends and Family Members Earn Their Stripes

When a sailor has been on a ship for a while, they might come across an event known as a tiger cruise. A tiger cruise is where a sailor can designate friends and family members to come aboard and set sail for a day or two. This is a great opportunity for you to see your sailor in action and what we go through for a day.
During the cruise, you’ll experience the sights and sounds of everyday sailor life. More than likely there will be drills and planned events that the ship will perform. One of the unplanned events that my parents were able to experience was the guys in the workshop and I troubleshooting a major piece of our gear. Not everything about sailor life is fun and games. There are times where you have to roll up your sleeves and get to work. Out on the water, it’s just you and your wits. You have to put the two together to come up with solutions to the problems that you come across. I was happy that my parents were able to witness the workcenter come together and fix the broken piece of gear through teamwork. In my opinion, it was probably the best example that we could give them about self-reliance. It will be a moment that my parents and I will remember for the rest of our lives.
There are some things to keep in mind if you’re thinking about signing up for a tiger cruise. Spouses will not be allowed to come aboard for obvious reasons. The purpose is to show friends and family members the sights of ship and its daily operations, and to allow your significant other to come aboard might pose as a significant distraction. Depending on how many available racks there are throughout the berthings, each sailor will have a set amount of people that they’re allowed to bring onboard. If you have a large family, you can always try to negotiate with fellow sailors to see if they would be willing to lend you a few additional spots if they aren’t bringing any individuals onboard. If you’ve never been onboard a ship before, or are susceptible to motion sickness, you might want to check out a product called Sea-Bands. I’ve seen quite a few guys who I work with wear them, and they’ve claimed that the Sea-Bands help them out drastically when it comes to motion sickness on the ship.
This is an event that I would recommend trying once. It’s a lot of fun and the cruise is catered for the guests. It’s a great way to experience what we’re all about and feel a sense of pride of what your sailor does.

Taps Taps Lights Out: It’s Time to Start Getting Out

Let’s face it, the Navy isn’t for everyone, and for those that are more tolerant and stay in for the 20+ years, you’re going to have to get out at some point. After spending time in the Navy, trying to relearn how the civilian lifestyle is going to be can be a challenge for some. Taking orders and giving orders, which is a standard in the Navy, more than likely won’t work with the civilian world and you’re going to need a coach to teach you a more eloquent vocabulary that doesn’t primarily consist of four-letter words. Regardless if you want to get out tomorrow, or years ahead down the road, you’re going to need guidance back into the world you once used to know.
While you’re in, here are a few tips that you should probably want to jot down:
1. Achieve as many qualifications you can. Qualifications go a long way on what you have done while serving in the Navy. They present a small picture of how you spent your time and what you did to help the team succeed. You never know what employer you’ll come across, and you’ll be surprised to find out how many might have previously served in the military.
2. Take advantage of the programs that the Navy offers while you’re serving. USMAPS and Navy College Courses are a few examples. USMAPS allows you to log hours of work that you do on the ship towards achieving a journeyman status in particular fields. For me this would mean increased pay in jobs out in the electrical field, and I would recommend for you to talk to your career counselor about what USMAPS can help you achieve. Navy College courses are actual college courses that are offered typically during deployments. This is a great way to knock out your general education courses.
3. Try to knock out as many debts as possible before you leave the service. Monthly payments eat away at how much you have to use towards your family and yourself. Living debt free is great; because that means that you have more of your hard-earned dollars going towards things that matter to you. I would recommend talking to a financial advisor, or if you like to use Youtube, I would recommend giving Dave Ramsey a try.
4. Save some money and try not to burn it all on unnecessary junk. Mr. Ramsey recommends working your way to having at least $6000 saved up in the bank to help cover your expenses until you find another job.
5. When time is counting down and you have about a year left in the service, I would recommend getting yourself signed up for the Transitional Assistance Program (TAP).
A great time to start looking for another job is about 1 to 1 ½ years before your EAOS. The reason why you want to start your search around this time is to give yourself a head start and gather as many leads as possible. The more contacts you have, the greater your chance of success is outside of the Navy. The Navy offers the Transition Assistance Program (TAP), which is a program, designed for sailors who are transitioning out of the Navy. The program is a week long course that goes over how to dress for interviews; resume writing and information about various programs that are designed to help veterans leaving the navy find a job in the civilian world. There is a ton of information that is given away during the week that you attend TAP, and it would be in your best interest to attend the weeklong course. Use the TAP class as a tool for success to increase your chances of survival in the civilian world.